Nine of Swords

Keywords & Phrases:
Depression. Suffering. Guilt. Putting yourself down. Nightmares. Insomnia. Mental torments. Despair. Shame. Conscience. Remorse. Doubt. Fears. Failure. Isolation. Imagining the worst. Sad, sleepless nights. Worry. Extreme stress. Anxiety. Anguish. Pain. Feeling useless or overwhelmed. Brooding. Lack of confidence. Gloom and doom. Sorrow. Overwhelmed by negativity. Overburdened by thoughts. Feeling you have done something wrong. Wishing "if only". Regretting the past. Obsessive sorrow. Feeling vulnerable. Self-destructive tendencies. Abandonment. Desperation.

Summary:
The Nine of Swords is the nightmare card. Your sleep may be disturbed as you deal with some vexing matter. You may be plagued by fear, guilt, doubt, and worries that are - to a large extent - unfounded. The difficulties you imagine may not appear so bleak when they see the light of day. The suffering you feel is the aftermath of previous difficult circumstances.

This card can indicate worry or despair. In the midst of such suffering, it is hard not to feel as thought life is hopeless. However, this card may also indicate the tortures we put ourselves through when we surrender to our unreasonable fears. It can be the feeling we get when we wake in the middle of the night worrying about something, even though things inevitably do not turn out to be that bad in the morning. When this card turns up, remember that "the darkest hour is just before dawn", and that fear and worry are the biggest part of our problems. Also, a cure for fear is hope - so instead of focusing on the horrors of your problems, start concentrating on solutions to them.

By acknowledging feelings of sorrow, disappointment, shame, and disillusion, you take the first step towards releasing them.

Like shadows, the demons inside us always seem larger and more threatening than they really are.

We can rise and see the light of day from the depths of despair and our greatest fears and woes. We all have nights when we toss and turn, our thoughts get out of proportion, we blame ourselves, blame others, worry about our actions and flounder in our doubts. The Nine of Swords basically reminds you that it is the time to refocus your goals, because just a little tweak here and there could make a big difference.

Again Swords are given the unpleasant task of handling and describing the human soul's relationship with pain. Pain hurts but it is part of life and we must not flee it, ignore it, or negate it. When it comes, pain is real and true, and we must accept this. This card deals with remorse, responsibility, and loss. It describes the moment when not only is there no hope, we do not even want to hope. We wait only for the pain to stop, in the worst and most terrible way. Hope, however, does not just depend on us. It is there even if we cannot see it, and pain is not able to shut every door and close every light. Not even the pain that comes from within and seems to swallow everything.

The Nine of Swords represents the pain we generate from within; what tortures we put ourselves through when our fears and doubts overwhelm us. Needless to say, the Nine of Swords is not the most pleasant of cards, but it doesn't always indicate major distress. Often it is just a sign of some element of unhappiness or trouble - a vulnerable spot in your life. Use the card as a 'caution' sign.

I disturb your sleep with terrible nightmares. I heap upon you the hate, fear, envy, and wickedness that consume me. I am Ate, the Greek goddess of insanity and misfortune.

Questions:
How are you putting yourself down? What is the source of your depression? What nightmares do you need to confront? What are you suffering from? What can you do to improve the situation? What is reality and what is a nightmare? How realistic are my fears? Am I willing to be patient enough to heal?